There's a Bonus at the End...

Saw this video on Facebook (not a fan of this video, but it's on YouTube here). It (over-)documents the first in-person meeting of two people who had been video chatting between L.A. & Toronto for "a few months." The accompanying post said this:

"true love, i think everyone in the world would love to have wht they got :)"


I would not. Especially not today.


On this day in 1990, two kids--having dated EXACTLY five years already--got married at ages 23 & 20. That's right...18 & 15 to start. in Texas, that is now referred to as "rape." 

These stupid kids were too young to know this wedding was a big mistake. One that would ruin their lives. We were told as much. We just acted out of youthful promise.  Today, we mark the 23rd anniversary of a mistake that has persevered through hardship, heartbreak, seven states, and three intense children that remind us constantly of the most beautiful stupid thing either of us has done...at least to this point.

Divorce runs rampant in our society. The process is flat-out awful, and we've all seen the gut-wrenching pain that accompanies such breakups. Sometimes, you have to move on. I respect that. Falling in love is exciting. I get that. Still, I can't help feeling that our society feeds us a steady emotional diet of movies and music that focus almost exclusively on the thrill of a new relationship...or the possibility of something better.

I hope Jennifer Lopez can find true love in her next movie. You know...again.

Some Rom-Com Promotion with (formerly) Third Husband

Perhaps Taylor Swift will find a man who doesn't make her so mad. Her next album could then be titled, "Beige."

I hope Bruno Mars gets "taken to paradise" on a regular basis for at least 23 years.

None of these efforts really speaks to me or those in my situation. Unless you're at some milestone year, a wedding anniversary is just another day of being. Not discovering something fascinating and intense, not hitting the mute button on the television and announcing the intent to look for something better, not reaching an emotional extreme--just staying, working on it, forgiving, supporting, foregoing fanfare, accepting the other for who they are, and continuing a lifelong love. 

There isn't much music out there that celebrates staying married, raising kids together, sticking it out. That makes me sad. Not intensely mad! Just sad. I know there's a market for such music; I'm part of that market.

This post is offered to all those celebrating off-year anniversaries. Those looking for a theme song that fits their current love life. Those needing inspiration to keep on doing the hard part--the part where the biggest threat to your love could be the expectation that nothing will change.

Happy 23rd to the snoring woman next to me in bed, the love of my life--and lifetime.

Here's the bonus I promised: a video of a song that get's it pretty close. An absolutely fanfare-free performance by Trout Fishing in America of No Matter What Goes Right. Four minutes that give strength to those still together.

"And when couples fight their troubles it unites their hearts.  When the good times roll, they can drift apart..."