If medicine was based on market forces, there would be no need for Federal intervention.

I've only made brief mentions of our health care situation on this blog. There are Facebook posts with me griping, and anyone who brings up the topic will be forced to hear my views on this particular issue. But this blog has been largely unscathed.

Until today.

Today was the day we were discussing the family heath care budget. I was mistaken in the amount of money that our local school district pays for DeAnn's coverage. Apparently, the stakes have risen by 22%. This year.

At a time when unemployment is too high (especially in THIS family), the cost of health insurance outweighs the cost of housing. It's our LARGEST expenditure.

The cost of coverage continues to rise at a rate similar to that of payday loans. Did you catch that italicized word? It continues to do this. This one word is very, very important. Next year, The Affordable Care Act takes force. We've all come to learn of this as Obamacare, and it's a divisive issue. Health care costs will SKYROCKET. We will all fall off the edge of the Earth and be eaten by dragons.

But rates have SKYROCKETED for decades, now.

Take a look around you. In the depth of the recession, which industry kept building and building during the construction dearth?

If you want to become angry about the current situation, and you want myriad reasons to do so, take a look at this post related to an important Time Magazine article. If you don't have the time to read 30 pages or the inclination to subscribe, here's an interview with the article's author and Jon Stewart.  This author never showed up on Fox News (a.k.a. Pravda America). I'm not a fan of his, by the way.

I have a friend that works in, shall we say, "the allied health professions." Corporate heads have cut this person's pay scale, and one dropped expense in their family is...health insurance. I hope the irony isn't lost on you.

The family has a daughter with a non-life-threatening health condition. She needs to be treated, though. I checked with a family physician, who shall remain nameless. The question: what if somebody just came in? They had a wad of money and wanted to see a physician. How much would that be?

Well, a standard visit would be $44, while a first-time evaluation would be about $96.

My copay is $30. Thus, the difference is $14.

In the meantime, the Pflugerville Independent School District pays $332 per month for my wife's insurance. Southwestern University paid $517 for my health insurance (we paid an extra $26 to cover the kids--no clue on that pricing). The family monthly medications, barring anything extra coming up, cost our family $180. Counting lost salary (shifted to healthcare premiums) and pharmaceuticals, assuming two visits to physicians a month (conservative), add in one "specialist" copay... leads to $1155 per month of income that could be going elsewhere.

That doesn't account for a January emergency room visit at St. David's. We're still paying the $3000 for that one. St. David's is building a new wing, by the way. Also, THEY ARE LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS AND DONATIONS.

This change in healthcare policy at the Federal level is not "socialized medicine," it's an adjustment toward actual market forces. We associate health insurance with workplace and marital status for no good reason. David Frum gets in a lot of trouble for thinking too much, when there is a party line to be toed. As he said, "the gap between this plan and traditional Republican ideas is not very big." This plan is very similar to the counter-plan to Hillary Clinton's healthcare policy changes in the early 1990's. 

In a ridiculous 2013 session, the Congress had passed a grand total of 21 bills in 200 days. Nothing's changed during the interim. The House of Representatives, where bills and ideas go to die, has somehow found the time to vote to repeal this "Obamacare" law 40 times!

Unpaid medical bills can result in the loss of student loan options, though. THAT Federal policy remains agreed upon by both parties.

The Last...First...Day

At the end of April, my employer--NITLE--released me. It was a major downsizing, and budgets eventually win the day. They still do great things, and I have and do wish them well.

Things have changed in job searches. Fairly recently, in fact. As I felt my way through the new process of finding a job, I made enough mistakes to extend my jobless status. As of today, I am unemployed. Not between jobs. Unemployed. I base that on whether you actually apply for benefits or not. It's a personal categorization, not a Federal one.

There are many things I could say about this situation, but one really hits me today: unemployment may well be the best thing that happened to me in my career.  For one, key summer I was a stay-at-home dad. My work with New Beginnings Mentoring Ministry, St. Paul's Episcopal Church, and some key individuals kept me busy and meaningful. God provided the funding, and we're surviving.

Today was a key moment in my "career." I have a daughter beginning her senior year of high school.

I also have a son beginning his time at that same high school.

My youngest daughter is starting the years of middle school where they actually let you do things. Same school; completely different lifestyle.

DeAnn's new career chapter began a month ago, so the transition is different.

This summer gave me the opportunity to to fishing with my children. Didn't catch a fish on Lake Pflugerville, but we went. We had discussions that never would have happened, had I been employed. I picked up slack, and I prepared for today.

The Last First Day for Victoria: An Eternal Holiday.

This will be a series of "lasts" for her. We will spend her last Labor Day Weekend on the road to Kansas. There will be a last Halloween, a last Thanksgiving, a last Christmas, a last Valentine's Day, a last Spring Break, a last tennis match, a last day of school.

And a first good-bye, waiting in the wings...ready to be the first of many.

I am now glad I was part of that 7.8% this summer. My summer efforts resulted in lives that changed for the better, including mine. This morning, my eyes tear up more with thanksgiving than regret.

This is the song playing on repeat in the minivan today:

It was a great summer. Prayers my readers and I have a great year of "lasts," "firsts," and happy times that we all remember as the moments that will remain. Hopefully, there are even more great summers to come.

Sooo...now that this day is "over," are any of you hiring?

The Personal Case for Plus Population Growth (+PG)

Today is my son's birthday. Next week, he will enter a very large high school as one of perhaps the ten youngest students on campus. He seems quite quiet and easy-going now. I know better, but that's how he seems. He was a hellish toddler. Strangling his little sister was as important to him then as the X-box is to him now.

Babies change everything. Here's commercial proof:

I'm getting old, and as I follow Facebook and the other means of personal documentation, I've noticed that the next generation is making decisions regarding children.  In this case, the number of children they will have. This has led me to revisit my own experience and that of others.

We have a motto in our household: "Two's not enough, but three's too many." It sends a message to both parents and children around here. We can all get overwhelmed by being outnumbered, but there is no part of my mind right now that can imagine life without any of the Henley clan.

In my life, there wasn't much time to consider things. My youngest was a flat-out surprise, coming just as my wife and I were discussing the Henley Population Growth factors. We were just starting to discuss, and the discussion was just starting to get a little intense.

Here are a few ideas to consider for comparison. I'll start with what I feel is the biggest.

If you have two children, there is one (1) relationship that becomes the basis for everything.  If A & B don’t get along, then it’s over.  As adults, the children will make their own decisions regarding their familial connections. You can’t “force” them to get along after, say, age 14.

If you have three children, it becomes much more complex. Complexity is good, in this case. You can actually draw up a chart to illustrate the graphic:

If A & B don’t connect at any point, the presence of C dilutes the conflicts and naturally serves to maintain the connections.

Further, you have the overall “Zeitgeist” of the kids (in middle of graphic, term used loosely) as they work together to overtake the parents. As they grow older, they can physically take you! The process of development as a “team” helps any one relationship grow. I’m not sure how Michael Vick really feels about Riley Cooper this season, but I do know they are both working on a common goal—winning a Super Bowl. 

I come from a family of three children. In fact, my arrival sparked a trip to the urologist to prevent a fourth (a happy little anecdote my father shared with me upon learning of DeAnn's pregnancy with Katrina). Although my brothers reside near Denver and Minneapolis, we keep regular contact. In fact, I have regular contact with their spouses and children.

My wife comes from a family of two children. She and her brother don't really communicate much. This one imperfect relationship is enough to fracture the whole structure. They don't hate each other or anything like that; but we don't see much of the other side of that family. I see that as a shame, partially because her brother has only one kid and really good stuff like a house on Lake Washington and a boat and a jet-ski and...

On top of all this inter-sibling relationship discussion, getting older means that my children will choose where to spend their time. Having three pretty much solidifies our ability to have family visitors on the holidays. I can see how that matters more, as I prepare to send my eldest to her final year of high school next week...

There are disadvantages to a family of five. I'm not going to say it's an easy decision.

• "You just won a Family Four-Pack of Tickets to...!" means little or nothing to you. This American society is set up for two kids and no more.
• You need a minivan--along with its stigma and gasoline ticket. Choose wisely, as you will have said minivan for the duration.
• You can't play "man-to-man" defense as parents; you switch to a "zone defense" For the basketball analogy explanation, click here. The analogy, is actually a good one: it speaks to weakness on the perimeter, gaps in coverage, and the like.
• You will be overwhelmed. This is especially true when they're quite young.
• Grandparents and babysitters will be afraid of three little kids and more hesitant to offer care.
• You will not drive a Cadillac Escalade, wear designer clothing, or fly off to the Super Bowl.

But think about it. What are the "luxuries" in life you want to attain? 

My "luxury" is named Katrina Louis. Not Louise, as we instructed. The birth certificate came back, and we were too overwhelmed to check it before it was too late. She's expensive, funny, open, demanding, special--and I can't imagine my life without her. Or Micah. Or Victoria.

Like I said, we have a motto: "Two's not enough, but three's too many."

Days like today I'm happy we got overwhelmed and uncomfortable.

Wide Versus Deep

(Hey, I didn't say I was a good photographer!)

There is a LOT of attention paid to what happens in Congress--or even the special group of people in Texas we call legislators. Law becomes rule. Rule becomes policy. Insert the word, code, in either place if it applies where you live or the subject with your greatest attention.
 
Thursday, I attended a meeting at my local city hall. It wasn't a city council meeting. It wasn't even a committee meeting. Rather, it was the precursor to tonight's Parks and Recreation Commission meeting. People came to give input regarding the future of our lake. The city is growing, and the lake is getting more popular. The company hired to assist with lake development threw out some options like wake boarding, interpretive signage, and an amphitheater. The commissioners seemed to want another beach on the lake. There was concern about future developments and building around the lake, and even some thoughts on all of this unused space in the middle (a.k.a., water).

Of course, this is the committee designed to focus on the "fun" aspects of the lake. The key reason for the lake is not really the recreational aspect. The lake provides water to the city. It's a balance, and the City Commission needs to consider all of the weights in that balance. 
 
Most of the big decisions in your life get made close to home. There are options to have your voice heard during the process of these decisions, even if you don't sit on a committee or council. You get a lot of power handed to you by those who aren't paying attention or aren't going to bother with these things.

Life is run by people who show up, and it's not just about rallies for major issues at the state capitol or some alabaster building in Washington. It's more about making things happen in your city, your local school board, your church, or your school's Site-Based Decision-Making committee.

You have more power than you realize. Take it, reader. Take it.

There's a Bonus at the End...

Saw this video on Facebook (not a fan of this video, but it's on YouTube here). It (over-)documents the first in-person meeting of two people who had been video chatting between L.A. & Toronto for "a few months." The accompanying post said this:

"true love, i think everyone in the world would love to have wht they got :)"


I would not. Especially not today.


On this day in 1990, two kids--having dated EXACTLY five years already--got married at ages 23 & 20. That's right...18 & 15 to start. in Texas, that is now referred to as "rape." 

These stupid kids were too young to know this wedding was a big mistake. One that would ruin their lives. We were told as much. We just acted out of youthful promise.  Today, we mark the 23rd anniversary of a mistake that has persevered through hardship, heartbreak, seven states, and three intense children that remind us constantly of the most beautiful stupid thing either of us has done...at least to this point.

Divorce runs rampant in our society. The process is flat-out awful, and we've all seen the gut-wrenching pain that accompanies such breakups. Sometimes, you have to move on. I respect that. Falling in love is exciting. I get that. Still, I can't help feeling that our society feeds us a steady emotional diet of movies and music that focus almost exclusively on the thrill of a new relationship...or the possibility of something better.

I hope Jennifer Lopez can find true love in her next movie. You know...again.

Some Rom-Com Promotion with (formerly) Third Husband

Perhaps Taylor Swift will find a man who doesn't make her so mad. Her next album could then be titled, "Beige."

I hope Bruno Mars gets "taken to paradise" on a regular basis for at least 23 years.

None of these efforts really speaks to me or those in my situation. Unless you're at some milestone year, a wedding anniversary is just another day of being. Not discovering something fascinating and intense, not hitting the mute button on the television and announcing the intent to look for something better, not reaching an emotional extreme--just staying, working on it, forgiving, supporting, foregoing fanfare, accepting the other for who they are, and continuing a lifelong love. 

There isn't much music out there that celebrates staying married, raising kids together, sticking it out. That makes me sad. Not intensely mad! Just sad. I know there's a market for such music; I'm part of that market.

This post is offered to all those celebrating off-year anniversaries. Those looking for a theme song that fits their current love life. Those needing inspiration to keep on doing the hard part--the part where the biggest threat to your love could be the expectation that nothing will change.

Happy 23rd to the snoring woman next to me in bed, the love of my life--and lifetime.

Here's the bonus I promised: a video of a song that get's it pretty close. An absolutely fanfare-free performance by Trout Fishing in America of No Matter What Goes Right. Four minutes that give strength to those still together.

"And when couples fight their troubles it unites their hearts.  When the good times roll, they can drift apart..."