It's Fine...

I'm OK.

I want to tell a lot of people that right now.

At about 2:10 a.m., I made a left turn toward an on-ramp. There was a curb (not painted, not obvious) that looked a lot to me like the right lane. N-n-n-n-n-nope. THAT was an epic crunch. I spent the next hour alone (NOBODY enters that turnpike ramp?). I changed the tire. Once I did that, I realized the car was deeply un-drivable--and I didn't have the ability or tools to make it function. Nobody stopped to help until I'd given up after 75 minutes. After that it took another 45 minutes to get to a room.

The trip started in the south suburbs of Denver in a blinding snowstorm. Neck pain, headache, strained eyes & strained nerves. After 10 or 11 hours of straight driving, I was three miles from my hotel.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday. (Mary Schmich)

Here's another multi-thousand dollar surprise. 2014 was the worst year of my life. At this point, 2015 looks to continue the pattern. A lesser man would die from this life, but I can't even seem to sleep! For about two hours, I became an angrier, lesser version of myself. Every once in a while, I find a dark chamber in my heart. When things get so emotionally overwhelming, I fall in--or choose to walk into it. Fortunately, that mindset never takes hold permanently. Satan may kill the car, but God wins the day.

What I offer in this post is some insight into how I tick.  There are a few "power questions" that I try to remember throughout the course of a day--and certain questions I use to keep me from just giving up on things.  Today, I present my current state of mind in light of my crisis question:

What would make this worse?

You'll note most people tend to think in terms of "What would make this better?" Professionally, that question can be somewhat helpful as a start.  On the other hand, this question tends to lead to dissatisfaction when things go well. In fact, it could lead to all Seven Deadly Sins if you let it.

1/2/2015--WWMTW:

Immediate danger would make this worse.  I'm in a Holiday Inn.  There is heat, coffee, an internet connection, carpet, a better bed than I'll have for a month, working cable...all kinds of good things.  I wasn't physically injured (except for a few scrapes changing the tire, etc.)

I could be on the Safety Corridor or next to a feedlot on the Texas Panhandle. It became apparent to me to "head east" on my return trip. I avoided a lot of the ice & snow. This accident happened in one of the largest cities in North America--one with over 300 body shops.

This could be a minor loss--or no loss.  I was trying to GET somewhere. Trying to see my son's soccer game. I have a son. He plays a sport I love. He has two sisters, too. I love them, as well. Whether in a broken Ford Focus or a rental car. I likely will see them soon. I'm not headed to a funeral, either. Was reminded of that scenario when I passed through Blackwell, Oklahoma last night.

I could be truly alone. Yes, I'm physically alone, in terms of close friends/family in Oklahoma City. Still, I feel like I have to blog. I want to explain my frame of mind to a lot of people--people that have reached out. People that are worried. People that deserve to know I'm fine.

Lack of resources to fix the Focus. I will PAY for this--because, eventually, I will be able to pay for this. I still have some credit left; I still have a means of income.

This could have happened on 1/2/1995. If that were the case, I wouldn't be able to blog...or connect...to all who would care about my well-being.

This is my initial list. I'm still working on others.  I will continue to do so. You get to choose where you focus your attention (usually).

I'm fine--OK, I will be fine.  Thank you for helping me get there.