When Goodbye Gets Ridiculous

Please note: the quotes inserted come from http://www.purplerow.com, one of the better baseball blogs.

Today was another in a long series of goodbyes. Some things just shouldn't happen.

Troy (deep breath) Tulowitzki (deep breath) is a (deep breath) Toronto (deep breath) BLUEJAY?!

The last time a trade this big happened at Coors Field, the staff ace left...and the owner got Romano's Macaroni Grill in return. Now, THAT's a crappy owner on par with Jerry Jones (no link inserted by design on THAT name).

Most readers of this blog won't care, but I do. You watch a guy play for 120 nights a year for a full decade, you get to expect seeing him. This man was the face of the entire franchise, and most of the current talent on that team can point to Troy as a reason for their success.

He was everything I wanted in a player: A ferocious competitor, a superstar you could build around, an incredibly hard worker who took prospects under his wing in the offseason, and a guy who understood how special it was for a fanbase to attach itself to a player who plays his entire career in one city.

The fate of a baseball team looms small in the lives of most people on this planet. To be honest, I openly admit that includes me. It's nice, but not necessary for happiness. I get all of that. I feel for the person who wrote:

Today is the saddest day of my life that didn't involve someone I'm close to dying. It hurts that much.

Look, I think--if you know me & my situation--that you can see the analogy. A boy can get tired standing on the pier waving goodbye to everything...repeatedly. The glass isn't half-full or half-empty--it's HEAVY after you hold it this long. Life doesn't ALL have to stay the same, but I'm trying to figure out what's left of the Paul Henley that lived in, say, 2010...or 2013, for that matter.

They're not just giving up a 30-year-old player, though. They're giving up the chance of having another franchise legend to slot next to Todd Helton in the pantheon of Rockies greats.

Tulowitzky autograph values kind of drop in Denver, long-term. No fan base will love Troy as deeply. Suddenly, a "franchise player" stands on the cusp of becoming a "journeyman player." Eventually, all these guys end up with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, anyway. This one still stinks, though. If he wins two World Series rings in Toronto, why would he become the first Colorado entry into Cooperstown?  In fact, consider this: Troy Tulowitzki worries that his son, Taz, won't remember when his dad played in Denver. Again, I can relate as a father. I'm fighting to stay relevant from 366 miles away. These trades change stories for generations, too.

"Yep--I can remember seeing Troy when he [insert whatever event you choose]. That was back when he played for Colorado and all...no really...he USED to be a Rockie (sic).  Really. No. I MEAN it..."

Whatever:

Ask an Orioles fan what kind of package that would have made it acceptable to deal Cal Ripken in 1995. Ask Padres fans what Tony Gwynn trade would make them go back in time and make them pull the trigger themselves.

Time is the great arbiter.

I leave for Budapest (that's right...Hungary) on August 4, 2015. I leave to "celebrate" what would have been my 25th wedding anniversary. If things are all going to change, anyway, at least SOME of that change should come from me. "My turn" should start at some point...perhaps this is a way to begin said turn. Follow my Instagram account to see what I find in what seems to be an incredible place. That account is Think17. That moniker is the mark of yet another dead dream.

Even as the major league team was terrible, Tulo was something to dream on. Now, that dream is dead. Not being able to watch him as a Rockie anymore is a devastating blow.

Hey, some dreams die.

Quote me on that one. I'm cool with that. Plans change. People change. Circumstances change. Everything changes. When it gets ugly, fight back.

Fight back, good reader. Fight back.

So--PROPS to D.J. LeMahieu, who plays at Wrigley Field with a chip on his shoulder because he remains convinced that the Chicago Cubs quit on him just a little early...

Props to those who have stuck with me--including my future hosts in Hungary. I've had "friends," "employers," "neighbors," and "family" desert me and leave me to wonder What the Hell Just Happened. I'm becoming convinced it doesn't matter what happened; it really only matters what happens.

For MEN Only...

Beloved Gentlemen--

I'm about to embark on an effort to assist MEN who seem to face ridiculous consequences when confronted by divorce or Title IX issues.  Please HELP THIS CAUSE by acting in accordance with the following:

"NO" Means "NO"

"NO" means NO.

"Not Now" means NO.

"Maybe Later" means NO.

"I Have A Boy/Girlfriend" means NO.

"No Thanks" means NO.

"You're Not My Type" means NO.

"*#^+ Off!" means NO.

"I'd Rather Be Alone Right Now" means NO.

"Don't Touch Me" means NO.

"I Really Like You But ..." means NO.

"Let's Just Go To Sleep" means NO.

"I'm Not Sure" means NO.

"You've/I've Been Drinking or on some medication" means NO.

SILENCE means NO.

"__________ " means NO.

Date Rape = Not Understanding "NO."

Look for the woman to say something like...I don't know..."YES!"

It's hard trying to do the right thing.  Please don't make it harder!

Thanks...

It All Starts with Texas...

One of the truly great things for those NOT living in Texas is watching what the Supreme Court (or voters) will change in 10-20 years. Without George W. Bush, America would not have had the guts to elect Barack Obama. Democrats, you're welcome. Republicans, blame Obama.

Today, the SCOTUS opened the doors to the remaining humans wishing to get married. I can remember anti-sodomy laws in Texas getting struck down in Lawrence v. Texas right before I arrived. With smirks, the legislators just left the law in place. Over a decade later, the legislature still chooses each session to keep that law on the books.

That wasn't the only thing that happened this week. Texas is currently using federal housing money to encourage or even inflict segregation in Dallas. It's called "disparate impact," and mighty Texas lost to the The Inclusive Community Project, Inc. yesterday. This will become more and more significant in the coming months. Mark my words--or mark the words of today's article from Kimberly Reeves.

Texas was involved in fighting Obamacare as a plaintiff, and lost that, as well. In all, our governor has sued the Obama administration over 25 times.  I can only think of one time he was truly "successful."

Yep, we got us a LEGAL statue on the capitol grounds. Probably spent $3 million defending this rock. Texas has a fifteen-story building filled with attorneys, and far too many of them spend their days defending whacky rules and laws coming from the Texas capitol. On the bright side, they lose a lot.

New regulations against abortion led to Wendy Davis becoming a household name in Texas. I look for them to be struck down soon. The immigration challenge against DACA/DAPA comes out of Brownsville, Texas--a fine city.

And in perhaps the most ironic response to today's decision, the kingpin of voter suppression (the Texas Lt. Gov.) had this to say:

I look forward to the day when ALL Texans vote. At that point, Texas will become one of the most progressive states in the Union.  And I will laugh.

Any ideas for laws we could make in Texas that would spur progress in America and the world? Perhaps a ban on flying cars. Mandatory global warming. We could start the ball rolling! Let me know your thoughts.

La Quinta Hotels, Corpus Christi, and Redeeming Love

Corpus Christi may be the "Happiest place on Earth."

This has been an awful couple of years, and this has been intensified by a strained relationship with a dream-come-true girl who is also my eldest daughter. Currently, a car accident has me struggling when under deep stress. That fact seemed to be manipulated this past weekend. "Fathers Day" had me waving good-bye while watching my ex-wife and two youngest children driving away from my home.

Fathers who care have no rights. We need to fix that.  (More on that henceforth...)

NB!--A dad needs to think. Thus, my thoughts are in italics.

On the loneliest Monday of my life, which followed the WORST Father's Day I am capable of surviving, I was visited by a friend. Talking can help after a brain injury (and rest). I sometimes think clearly--like a man capable of the position I used to hold at STC--and may hold again. A lot of my "interrogations" were based on my "ability to drive" and the "new car." No road trip is possible if an adult can't drive and a car can't function.

Meanwhile, I've just been "told" that my eldest will be with the rest of the family in Corpus Christi. All will be reunited on this day--except me.

Fathers who care have no rights. We need to fix that.  (More on that henceforth...)

This is a bad situation...
But I have a car--a 1992 Ford Thunderbird.
I have a brain--no matter what people seem to think.

Perhaps it's just just time to see if THIS brain and THIS car can make it to, say, Corpus Christi...

So, I know this much:

1. My daughter is allegedly in Corpus Christi
2. She's staying at a La Quinta
3. She's attending orientation at TAMU-CC

I drive as far as WHATABURGER FIELD, and...no answer to my texts or calls...

Turn around? Focus on surviving? Prove you can drive and the car works? There are AT LEAST five (5) La Quinta hotels in the Corpus Christi area... Maybe I just turn around.

No. I've done this too many times before. I have sat in my car across the street from this young woman's dormitory in Arlington, just to know a little more of what her life was like. I'm here. I may as well visit the campus. See where she will be attending class.

As I near the campus on the highway, suddenly there is a La Quinta. There's a Rudy's BBQ nearby. That place has great food AND gasoline...

I may as well just swing through the lot. I can't imagine her car would be there, anyway--probably at another one of these hotels.  It would be wrong to just blow past this parking lot. I mean, it's right IN FRONT of me...

Guess what? I notice her Subaru in the lot before I finish the statement in my own head.

I'll just park somewhere near her car. I'll pick up a gift card at Rudy's. That way, she/he can get BBQ and/or gas based on what they need. I'll just leave it at the front desk.  I'll put one of my cards on her windshield. She'll know I was here and cared...

I get the gift card and notice that the USWNT is playing in the "sports bar" between the Rudy's BBQ and the hotel.

Then I realize that I have three (3) things happening simultaneously:

1. I am within 1/4 mile of my beloved daughter for the first time in months.
2. I am on "neutral" territory for the first time in ages.
3. My daughter's boyfriend is walking toward me on the same sidewalk, along the same frontage road, off of a highway in a city none of us really know.

How could this be random? How could this not have meaning? How could I NOT be here right now???

"Hi! Good to see you! How was the orientation? Did you get over to the other college?"

He was walking to "the store" (Rudy's) to get her Gatorade and Chicken Lo Mein. My daughter was exhausted and unconscious. Seems like a good boyfriend. Just sayin'. No other family around...don't care why not right now. Without my asking, it's suggested I wake her to say "Hi." This is the room number. Turns out she didn't reply because she was asleep.

"Look, when in doubt a person should remember this--you regret the things you DIDN'T do more than any of the things you ACTUALLY DID."

My barely-awake daughter greeted me with a hug longer than those of my other children combined. For perhaps the most perfect of 15 minutes, I reconnected with this fantastic young woman who carries half of her DNA from me. It was one of the best Mondays I've experienced in my near-50 years.

As of now, I'm not sure that Corpus Christi isn't the "Happiest place on Earth."

Where You FROM, Anyway?

Props to Governor, ummm...Dennis Daugaard (RIGHT--thought it was still Janklow...). This is an amazing promotional campaign approach:

"WHY DIE ON MARS? WHEN YOU CAN LIVE IN SOUTH DAKOTA. We've got plenty of job openings and all the food, water and oxygen you need!"

Complete with grammatical error & Earth-like atmosphere--I bring you South Dakota's new economic development message: You (probably) wouldn't die here. 

Wow. In most states, this would be an ironic internal campaign. In THIS state, they really mean it.  Here's the bizarre video:  

https://m.youtube.com/watchv=HrX8OTFSFZI

All comes from this materwork of the ridiculous: 

http://www.youcanliveinsouthdakota.com/

No, really. They MEAN this. Really.

In Praise of Marketing

Having spent a decade or so in the Austin area, I was privy to some pretty special events. For one, the SXSW festival setup offered a wide range of things to keep a spring break active. It was more than just a bunch of musical groups living in vans (though THAT is always cool). The film festival rivals the best in the world. The interactive festival gives a person a glimpse into the future. In 2011 we encountered our first "printer" that made things out of plastic (!). This week, the young man that accompanied me sent me to Indianapolis this little gem:

If you live in the Austin area (or know someone who lets you crash for a week), you can catch a wealth of ancillary activities and insights. This may be the key reason to experience events like SXSW, Comic Con, and even major sporting event (even without tickets to actual events).  These kinds of events and opportunities don't come to McAllen, but this post comes from Indianapolis--the Oklahoma City of the Midwest (TM Paul Henley 2015). Right now, Indy is in the throes of hosting the Final Four (and related things), which they seem to do about as often as the Olympics take place (2006, 2010, 2015...). Great minds are present, throughout. I've been especially amazed by the masterful marketing approaches--nothing amazingly new, just impeccable execution of standard approaches.  This work comes from the masters: Coke, AT&T, GM, etc.

Case in point: the March Madness Music Festival.

Three nights of concerts by impressive lineups.  It's a gift from the NCAA to its host city each year. Tonight, we missed Cold War Kids, caught the end of Weezer's set, and ignored Imagine Dragons. It was an incredible mix of college students, locals, and die-hard fans. After Weezer had finished, we headed to the Coke Zero section. We were greeted by this:

The wording is a made from a hose full of Coke Zero that flows to a fountain:

I'd bumped into this little gem online. Here it was: the first "drinkable billboard" in my personal history.  If you want to see the story behind this idea, click here. If I post anything about this, I'm supposed to add "#opentotry." I asked if that was legal to use words like "open" in Indiana these days. I was told, "Coca-Cola supports an inclusive environment." Message. Discipline.

At this point, you need to realize that this area becomes "holy ground" to a diet cola junkie. My youngest daughter just informed me of the issues that diet sodas bring to your life. Yep. Understood. Meanwhile, the holy ground was lush, but a little muddy.

Didn't matter.  There was no reason to look down, literally or figuratively.

The rest of the exhibit didn't disappoint, either. The Coca-Cola folks knew exactly how to strike a balance between fun and memorable. We walked past a set of live games (like a 4' x 4' version of a"Connect Four" board, with the game being announced live through loudspeakers). After all, gotta walk past that. Why? Because that's how you get to the actual trophy to be awarded to Monday night's NCAA champion. After a 2-minute wait, our photo was taken and I was texted a link to get to this photo:

(Yeah, yeah...you are what you "drink")

It was a pretty amazing little setup--like a non-alcoholic version of the Bud Light "Up for Whatever" commercials. As we left, we passed by a monstrous Ferris Wheel--also free to anyone interested. You could photograph the concert and use a different hashtag. The line was long, and we were done for the day.

As I fall asleep in this fine hotel (nestled quietly in North-North Oklahoma's "Meth Land"), I want to make two things clear:

1. I'm being manipulated by commercial interests.
2. I'm totally fine with that.

Good bands end with a drum circle

Proving a Negative or Losing: The Other Side to Title IX

(Article Photo from InsideHigherEd.com)

A recent higher education news article was titled, “Questions on Money, Influence and Competence.”

The news item in focus is based on two young women who attended a fraternity party and woke up the next morning feeling drugged…and with one, raped.  Rape is one of the most confusing crimes to me.  It is a crime of pure violence that requires a deranged man to be aroused throughout the process.  Rape victims live their entire lives fighting awful memories and harboring hatred and mistrust placed by the rapist.  Bo Burnham put it best at 1:15 in this video.

In response to the allegations, Brown University hired laboratories to take samples.  It seems like they need to review their list of laboratories.  An Ivy League university managed to mismanage the entire process, and this sparked the protest pictured at the top: people taping dollar bills to their mouths to signify how rich dads can make “rape charges go away.”  The IX written on each bill signifies Title IX, which is supposed to protect women.

The story is being lauded by commenters as balanced in its approach.  I can stipulate (for now) that the facts may all be included; I disagree that the story is balanced.  Or “Fair & Balanced!”

The opinions of the accused do not appear in the story until the end of the story.  This assumes a lot of the reader.  The story moves begins with a picture of a protest and the outrage at Brown University among its community.  It details what allegedly happened.  It discusses Brown’s bungled attempts to investigate.  It speaks to the denial of the alleged victims.  It allows for the idea that one of the accused young men had a rich father exert influence.  Only after these do we see the other side of this accusation, under the heading “Privilege and Power.”  You see, the alleged perpetrators have a pretty compelling story, as well.

So I’m going to throw out one of the least popular questions I’ve ever put in writing:

What if they didn’t do it?

Although these kinds of things are rare, in terms of sexual violence cases—so are sexual assaults in general.  To assume this young man’s guilt is akin to assuming (on a macro level) that sexual assault “just don’t happen” at Brown…or South Texas College.  Yes, two young women were denied their “day in court,” at least on campus.  On the other hand, at least one father, two fraternity brothers—and an entire fraternity chapter—were presumed guilty, punished directly, punished indirectly, discredited…and denied their “day in court,” at least on campus.  And as of right now there is NO protest coming to support them if they can somehow PROVE their innocence.

The show of power at Brown (the dollar bill march) may be generally directed at Brown—but it is specifically directed at two college-age students (and a father) who remain accused of some awful things.  It’s one thing to come directly after a person you know to be guilty, i.e.—Ferguson, Staten Island, Pine Ridge.  It’s a completely different situation when guilt remains in question.  Many of these same protesters oppose the death penalty, often on the grounds that a state could put an innocent person to death.  How is this different, aside from the stakes? 

Groups like Families Advocating for Campus Equality (F.A.C.E.) work to promote the rights of the accused in these cases, but doing so tends to make you as unpopular as a LGBT person in the early 2000’s.  Did you notice the men in the picture?  Why are they shoved in the back (or to the side) of the camera angle? 

Rape should equal prison time.  False accusations of rape should equal prison time.  In the end, the two possible victims will be seen in a positive light.  In the end, the two alleged perpetrators will be made uncomfortable and miserable…and they will likely have to find another school to try to start their lives over.  My guess is their next schools won’t be Ivy League schools.  It’s a de facto means of expulsion, which is justice being served on some lower-level degree. 

Unless they didn’t do it…