Not Heard: "Your Visa Is Approved"

Lorenzo Quinn's Hand of God.  Find more here.

My daughter is moving in with me!  That’s right.  Miss Victoria A. Henley will be attending Stephen F. Austin StateUniversity this month.  “The Estate” will be her domicile for that new beginning.  If you wonder who she is, perhaps this post will give you perspective.  Or maybe this.  Who knows?

I’m saying this because I “met” a young woman who brought out my “dad” instincts today.  This was U.S. Embassy day in the Henley “household.”  The day we would/could/should get  approved for a CR-1 visa for Mrs. Henley.  After a rough start to the day, we jumped into the cattle call of the final frontier of the process.  It went very well…until someone compared names on documents.  Who does that??!!!!???!!!

"On the next episode of Paul Screws Up..."

In 100 attempts, I would have caught this (maybe) 3 times.  It should worry you that my job entails accreditation and assessment.  Turns out I am very capable of overlooking things.  Ms. Raqueline just returned from fixing the mistakes, and we will get the fixed one tomorrow.  Then we will upload the new document to some website or give it to a courier or fold it into a paper airplane and launch it at the Ambassador.  I don’t know, really.  I'm not sure of my skills right now.  We have a slip of paper AND an email, so who knows what’s next?

THIS IS FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!

The form in question is the “proof” that Raquel was never married.  I get it; that’s important.  HOWEVER—

• We needed this documentation just to get married.
• We needed this documentation to pass the “border patrol” portion of the process.
• We needed this documentation with the State Department before the Embassy got involved.

So…the fourth iteration of this might not be correct?  Because her PARENTS names are different in this version????

Thanks for protecting me—just like the Japanese government protected me from my own toothpaste on the way through Tokyo.  Passed the U.S. TSA…but Japan knows that the extra ounce-or-whatever will EXPLODE.

In both cases, I am soooooo grateful for government protection from myself. 

I’m not as bitter about this as I could be—or might have been, though.  In the midst of the process, I was given the gift of perspective.

I might have taken a picture of her.  She was relatively attractive (not Raquel standard, but still good-looking).  She was about the age of my oldest daughter (Victoria).  She was interviewing to get a K-1 (fiancée) visa.  I know this because the U.S. Embassy in Manila uses an intercom system to communicate: the interviewer is behind bullet-proof glass; the interviewee/victim is facing away from the seated folks waiting their turn.  Imagine going to a drive-thru bank and just standing and listening to the interview questions—then you infer her answers.  You can’t “not hear” such stimuli, and it put things in perspective for me.  Near as I can tell, the following points are true.

• She hadn’t known the guy all that long.
• She knew his basic information.
• He had come to visit, and she seemed to have pictures.
• Her fiancée didn’t have any arrests.
• He had children, but he didn’t see them.
• She had one child of her own.

After a little while of some back-and-forth, the interviewer re-phrased his questions.  So you are saying you have no knowledge of any arrests for your fiancée?  Is that it?

She nodded.  I could sense where this was going (so can you).

I must inform you that in September 2016, your fiancée was arrested for domestic violence.  Do you know what that means?  He was arrested for beating his wife.  This is in 2016, also, so it’s recent.  I need to also tell you that a court found him to be a threat to his wife and his children so that he is not allowed to see his children.  He has a restraining order against him, which means that he cannot come in contact with his wife or his children.  That’s why he doesn’t know much about his children.

Now, knowing this information, do you still want to move forward with the fiancée visa process?

Short, fast, quick nodding for about .4 seconds.

OK, so you want to move forward knowing that your fiancée has been convicted of beating his wife.  Recently.  Is that correct?

More nods…this time a little larger.

OK, I must also inform you that if you feel threatened at any point, you need to dial 911, and the police will come and protect you.  They won’t take your visa away because you called 911.  Do you understand that?

More nods…ugh.

Her visa was held up for some “unrelated” reason—one similar to ours.  I’m hoping the folks at the embassy do this to delay her decision.

I get it.  If you say “No, I don’t want to continue” then that’s it.  You’re out of options.  It seems that (even in this circumstance) the prudent thing to do is keep your options open…to see if there could be some way it could work.

…but what an awful thing to discover at that point…

I wanted to reach out, but I knew an older American wouldn’t sway her opinion or decision.  Plus, the embassy deals with this daily.  It would be like going to a police station to lecture women about domestic violence as a “Self-Appointed Expert.”  At some point, you’re just a loudmouth with an opinion.  This was past that point.

Perspective is soooo important.  I was “#blessed” to be given that perspective today, of all days.  Expectations lead to resentment.  I’m working HARD to not expect stuff.  When I do that, I am pleasantly surprised quite often…and disappointed much less.  It might still work.  Perhaps a tourist visa or something.

There could be a quick turnaround, and we could jet off to Houston to experience the unexpected world we will inhabit together.

My guess is Raq’s visa will be available about 24-48 hours after the plane to Houston takes off in Manila.  I likely will be on that plane…alone…again.  I will go back to a clean house (thanks to Miss Victoria Henley) and prepare to start the academic year.  I will look for an opportunity to bring my wife to America; I will take the first real one I get.